








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3552 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3405 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2665 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2340 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,505 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YAA | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | โฟ๐น๐Hasse ๐๐นโฟ [Fr | 58% | 108 |
| #3 | Lebron | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YAA | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | โฟ๐น๐Hasse ๐๐นโฟ [Fr | 58% | 108 |
| #3 | Lebron | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โฟ๐น๐Hasse ๐๐นโฟ [Fr | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | YAA | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Lebron | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โฟ๐น๐Hasse ๐๐นโฟ [Fr | 221 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | YAA | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lebron | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โฟ๐น๐Hasse ๐๐นโฟ [Fr | +1.56 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | NikkoKICK | +0.31 | 48 | 64 |
| #3 | YAA | +0.20 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | Lebron | -0.90 | 52 | 55 |





