








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2345 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1757 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,131,481 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siekiewot | 78% | 32 |
| #2 | Jeep Driver Joop | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | narko | 63% | 103 |
| #4 | Jupi' | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | oskar ♿ | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | narko | 534 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | HoodiSac | 486 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | siekiewot | 209 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jeep Driver Joop | 167 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | SneakyBeaky | 123 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoodiSac | +2.61 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | siekiewot | +1.10 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | Glörp | +0.76 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Jeep Driver Joop | +0.60 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | SneakyBeaky | +0.41 | 58 | 59 |





