








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5321 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4006 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4856 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5164 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,699 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siekiewot | 76% | 46 |
| #2 | SneakyBeaky | 57% | 97 |
| #3 | narko | 56% | 251 |
| #4 | Jeep Driver Joop | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Glörp | 55% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | narko | 1099 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | SneakyBeaky | 397 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | siekiewot | 335 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #4 | Glörp | 308 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | oskar ♿ | 205 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoodiSac | +2.64 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Jeep Driver Joop | +0.85 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | siekiewot | +0.83 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | SneakyBeaky | +0.66 | 57 | 58 |
| #5 | !.- | +0.42 | 84 | 56 |





