










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1050 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1286 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1232 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,580 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snap | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Moto Moto | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | -Texx- | 62% | 58 |
| #4 | Sw1gGiDy❤ | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | beez | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | beez | 58% | 55 |
| #6 | Tepid | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | Brontide- | 53% | 139 |
| #8 | BOT Kirk | 50% | 20 |
| #9 | lucychen❤ | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucychen❤ | 7 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Brontide- | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | beez | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Moto Moto | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | snap | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Texx- | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | beez | 182 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | lucychen❤ | 130 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Brontide- | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | snap | 86 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snap | +5.72 | 97 | 69 |
| #2 | lucychen❤ | +5.49 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | Tepid | +4.05 | 89 | 73 |
| #4 | -Texx- | +3.71 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | BOT Kirk | +1.05 | 59 | 48 |





