








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5551 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3876 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1759 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2800 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,778 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepid | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | beez | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Fonk | 62% | 58 |
| #4 | Brontide- | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | 180sx | 57% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepid | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | beez | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Fonk | 62% | 58 |
| #4 | Brontide- | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | 180sx | 57% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 180sx | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Tepid | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Fonk | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 180sx | 214 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | beez | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tepid | 146 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fonk | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brontide- | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tepid | +5.96 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | -Texx- | +1.50 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | 180sx | +0.66 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | beez | +0.41 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | Fonk | +0.38 | 58 | 49 |





