








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 26% |
| Smokes | 595 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 452 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 467 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,537 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 47% | 49 |
| #2 | Full aberrant | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Neyza | 33% | 27 |
| #4 | Samayantsmurf | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 47% | 49 |
| #2 | Full aberrant | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Neyza | 33% | 27 |
| #4 | Samayantsmurf | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Neyza | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Full aberrant | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Samayantsmurf | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 218 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Neyza | 63 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Samayantsmurf | 27 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Full aberrant | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | +2.60 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Neyza | -0.03 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | Full aberrant | -0.09 | 58 | 31 |
| #4 | Zertox | -0.83 | 63 | 50 |
| #5 | Samayantsmurf | -3.80 | 73 | 45 |





