








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3198 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3139 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5098 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2046 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,187,312 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 57% | 189 |
| #2 | fuck a nacho | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Neyza | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 57% | 189 |
| #2 | fuck a nacho | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Neyza | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Neyza | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | fuck a nacho | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 556 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | fuck a nacho | 112 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Neyza | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuck a nacho | +2.81 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | 1 | +2.75 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Neyza | +1.83 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | Samayantsmurf | +0.04 | 66 | 45 |





