








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 957 | 21% |
| Smokes | 342 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1461 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1782 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,820 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabi5k | 27 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | BLIN1 | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | KURZEHOSEHOLZGEWEHR | 8 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | Red★Star | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Shiro | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabi5k | 260 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | BLIN1 | 127 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | kokosnusskiller | 65 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | AdobeWanKenobe | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | KURZEHOSEHOLZGEWEHR | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |





