








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 992 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1215 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 845 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 744 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,206 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valvur | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | adm | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Flicky Minaj | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | Mater | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | SikeEST | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Flicky Minaj | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | Mater | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | SikeEST | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | feap | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | señor pilu | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flicky Minaj | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | señor pilu | 6 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Mater | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | adm | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | valvur | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mater | 174 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Flicky Minaj | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | señor pilu | 98 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | SikeEST | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | feap | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flicky Minaj | +3.88 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | feap | +2.73 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | SikeEST | +2.64 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | adm | +1.82 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | señor pilu | +0.31 | 77 | 77 |





