








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 904 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Esplay | 20 matches | 1,729 | |
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4178 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5405 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4928 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6202 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,434,943 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yKN | 54% | 260 |
| #2 | OlssonJohan | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | spider monkey | 52% | 264 |
| #4 | Snuzmeister | 52% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yKN | 54% | 260 |
| #2 | OlssonJohan | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | spider monkey | 52% | 264 |
| #4 | Snuzmeister | 52% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spider monkey | 45 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Snuzmeister | 19 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | yKN | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | OlssonJohan | 10 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spider monkey | 1040 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | Snuzmeister | 775 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | yKN | 636 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | OlssonJohan | 49 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spider monkey | +2.90 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | yKN | +1.60 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Snuzmeister | +0.31 | 57 | 65 |
| #4 | Martzz | -0.59 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | OlssonJohan | -2.08 | 64 | 46 |





