








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 907 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 456 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,900 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6488 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3364 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5018 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4074 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,947,775 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | single mother | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | spider monkey | 56% | 411 |
| #3 | Snuzmeister | 56% | 390 |
| #4 | Martzz | 54% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | single mother | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | spider monkey | 56% | 411 |
| #3 | Snuzmeister | 56% | 390 |
| #4 | Martzz | 54% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spider monkey | 65 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Martzz | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Snuzmeister | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | single mother | 10 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spider monkey | 1584 | 0.19 | 45 min |
| #2 | Snuzmeister | 1112 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #3 | Martzz | 457 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | single mother | 148 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | single mother | +2.68 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | spider monkey | +2.05 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | yKN | +1.47 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | Snuzmeister | -0.04 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | Martzz | -2.17 | 53 | 55 |





