








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1711 | 39% |
| Smokes | 615 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1159 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,905 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misteln | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | nam op nai ti | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | k1rr4 | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | sou | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | hnagnut | 43% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | yot | 37% | 27 |
| #9 | ︻芫 —— | 35% | 20 |
| #10 | valorantaim | 34% | 47 |
| #11 | nene | 29% | 45 |
| #12 | : .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.: | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnagnut | 31 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Futa | 28 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | k1rr4 | 28 | 0.0408 |
| #4 | sou | 20 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | naodyuh | 19 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnagnut | 427 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | sou | 284 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | naodyuh | 216 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | : .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.: | 124 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | ︻芫 —— | 105 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sou | +4.96 | 99 | 46 |
| #2 | nam op nai ti | +3.05 | 77 | 35 |
| #3 | scardi | +2.05 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | : .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.: | -0.01 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | k1rr4 | -0.12 | 51 | 19 |





