








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 444 | 26% |
| Smokes | 565 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 174 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 539 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,778 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cammy | 76% | 37 |
| #5 | Cream w/ an AR | 75% | 52 |
| #6 | Valex | 73% | 15 |
| #7 | TModderGuy | 73% | 11 |
| #8 | [LOB] ZER0 | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cream w/ an AR | 292 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | SilverWater | 273 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | TModderGuy | 59 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | cammy | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | [Odin]Badaxx21 | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |





