








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2174 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2633 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1551 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1807 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,550 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilverWater | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Cream w/ an AR | 46% | 50 |
| #3 | cammy | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | Azen | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Average | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cream w/ an AR | 290 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | SilverWater | 157 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | TModderGuy | 128 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | Average | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | MrW0nd3rful | 94 | 0.17 | 3 min |





