








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 657 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2473 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,340 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valta | 56% | 62 |
| #2 | carlita♡ | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | S H 3 L B Y | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | f0rk | 45% | 322 |
| #5 | Sypher | 44% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0rk | 34 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Sypher | 20 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | carlita♡ | 17 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | dc* | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | S H 3 L B Y | 9 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0rk | 1088 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | dc* | 523 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Sypher | 423 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | carlita♡ | 264 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | S H 3 L B Y | 210 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carlita♡ | +4.56 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | apEX.exe | +2.06 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | Valta | +2.00 | 68 | 75 |
| #4 | Sypher | +1.63 | 66 | 75 |
| #5 | f0rk | +0.65 | 54 | 64 |





