








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3208 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3012 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3105 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2670 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,383 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valta | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | ELCHELVI | 58% | 86 |
| #3 | Galac-Tux | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | zep | 55% | 102 |
| #5 | desox1! | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zep | 20 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | ELCHELVI | 17 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | f0rkkwoW | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Nico | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Galac-Tux | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0rkkwoW | 626 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | zep | 452 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | ELCHELVI | 402 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | desox1! | 182 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | Galac-Tux | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zep | +3.06 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Sypher | +2.35 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | desox1! | +1.03 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Valta | +0.87 | 60 | 68 |
| #5 | f0rkkwoW | +0.23 | 48 | 58 |





