








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1632 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1837 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2690 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2508 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,136 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rocker | 72% | 46 |
| #2 | BanE | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | PhårØs | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | Keyefu | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | Skellitoon | 56% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Achmed | 54% | 28 |
| #8 | Sparrow | 52% | 33 |
| #9 | ReBeL | 51% | 39 |
| #10 | Leftie | 51% | 41 |
| #11 | Karam-Goat | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0f | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Keyefu | 10 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | PhårØs | 6 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Skellitoon | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Sparrow | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr0f | 619 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #2 | rocker | 238 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Skellitoon | 185 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ReBeL | 134 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Keyefu | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rocker | +2.26 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Skellitoon | +1.85 | 60 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪EliteDragon✪ | +1.76 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | ReBeL | +1.64 | 43 | 77 |
| #5 | Pr0f | +1.44 | 67 | 66 |





