








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 931 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3202 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1709 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2360 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,117,934 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1518 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . aceton | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | misoqq | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | S3Ñ0R V4C~~ | 59% | 64 |
| #4 | チNoVaツ | 57% | 147 |
| #5 | acex | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ktffs(2hollis lover) CSGOSKINS | 26 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | チNoVaツ | 22 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Mudi_Bary | 19 | 0.0388 |
| #4 | S3Ñ0R V4C~~ | 12 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | . aceton | 10 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ktffs(2hollis lover) CSGOSKINS | 1030 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | S3Ñ0R V4C~~ | 279 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | チNoVaツ | 203 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gr1zZz | 83 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | misoqq | 82 | 0.11 | 3 min |





