








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 557 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1109 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,438 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lamp | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | fent | 49% | 140 |
| #3 | Muscle Man | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | MilfMagnet | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lamp | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | fent | 49% | 140 |
| #3 | Muscle Man | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | MilfMagnet | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilfMagnet | 18 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | fent | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Muscle Man | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | lamp | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fent | 326 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | MilfMagnet | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | lamp | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Muscle Man | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lamp | +3.17 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | fent | +1.56 | 67 | 43 |
| #3 | ripley | +1.22 | 69 | 41 |
| #4 | MilfMagnet | -0.34 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | Muscle Man | -5.02 | 6 | 40 |





