








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1997 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1380 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1480 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1280 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,183 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon Bread | 16 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | bappo | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Tuomasveturi | 6 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Matte | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Ancient Fossil | 5 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon Bread | 230 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | bappo | 140 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Matte | 90 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | BMW E46 316i | 72 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | timer8 | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon Bread | +4.95 | 65 | 62 |
| #2 | Matte | +4.85 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | Tuomasveturi | +1.79 | 42 | 26 |
| #4 | ㋡フひイ丂ズひ | +1.74 | 45 | 38 |
| #5 | timer8 | +0.55 | 58 | 48 |





