








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 470 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3012 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3733 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1777 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,751 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Special | 44% | 43 |
| #2 | Gon | 44% | 59 |
| #3 | Zipser | 43% | 143 |
| #4 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 41% | 358 |
| #5 | zanduuh | 33% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Special | 44% | 43 |
| #2 | Gon | 44% | 59 |
| #3 | Zipser | 43% | 143 |
| #4 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 41% | 358 |
| #5 | zanduuh | 33% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 53 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Zipser | 25 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | zanduuh | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Special | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 412 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | zanduuh | 152 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zipser | 65 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Special | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gon | 16 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | +2.27 | 19 | 35 |
| #2 | Gon | +2.19 | 37 | 17 |
| #3 | Special | +0.36 | 16 | 42 |
| #4 | Zipser | +0.05 | 35 | 20 |
| #5 | zanduuh | -2.78 | 19 | 46 |





