








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 700 | 46% |
| Smokes | 237 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 355 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,617 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotNation420 | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Special | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | Gon | 48% | 104 |
| #4 | Payday2240 | 43% | 143 |
| #5 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 42% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Special | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | Gon | 48% | 104 |
| #4 | Payday2240 | 43% | 143 |
| #5 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 42% | 208 |
| #6 | zanduuh | 38% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 66 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | zanduuh | 32 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Payday2240 | 19 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Special | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Gon | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | 318 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Payday2240 | 258 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | zanduuh | 248 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Special | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | PotNation420 | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotNation420 | +3.27 | 43 | 50 |
| #2 | Gon | +1.49 | 39 | 20 |
| #3 | 『 』seanteku paranoid.gg | +0.72 | 19 | 35 |
| #4 | Zipser | -0.07 | 39 | 18 |
| #5 | Special | -1.42 | 11 | 45 |





