








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 932 | 39% |
| Smokes | 749 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 408 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,982 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli.hilli | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | N1ILO | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | mikromakkara | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | tomppa | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | jumieki | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | umppa | 42% | 50 |
| #7 | paavolai | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | Aleksi | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | Simi | 25% | 8 |
| #10 | KISU! | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomppa | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | umppa | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | paavolai | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | N1ILO | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | umppa | 94 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | mikromakkara | 88 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | tomppa | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | uli.hilli | 48 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #5 | Simi | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikromakkara | +2.11 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | Aleksi | +0.16 | 53 | 48 |
| #3 | Jeriko | +0.13 | 44 | 66 |
| #4 | uli.hilli | +0.13 | 29 | 59 |
| #5 | umppa | -0.22 | 70 | 55 |





