








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 102 | 17% |
| Smokes | 152 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 137 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 196 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,566 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IKrxpTiicEU | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | S3pp-353 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | stasK | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | jesse (remontada) | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | <FIN_ADDEZ> | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | stasK | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | jesse (remontada) | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | <FIN_ADDEZ> | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | DaveK1ng | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaveK1ng | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaveK1ng | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | IKrxpTiicEU | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | stasK | 13 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | jesse (remontada) | 12 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | <FIN_ADDEZ> | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesse (remontada) | +7.01 | 60 | 75 |
| #2 | IKrxpTiicEU | +2.48 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | DaveK1ng | +1.72 | 60 | 57 |
| #4 | S3pp-353 | +0.40 | 45 | 59 |
| #5 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | +0.04 | 71 | 52 |





