








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3123 | 35% |
| Smokes | 711 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 2968 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2020 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,982 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dayik4s | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | magucas | 68% | 65 |
| #3 | ^.^ | 58% | 85 |
| #4 | NO chance treatment | 56% | 54 |
| 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | magucas | 68% | 65 |
| #3 | ^.^ | 58% | 85 |
| #4 | NO chance treatment | 56% | 54 |
| 54% | 26 | ||
| 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magucas | 4 | 0.0031 |
| 4 | 0.0094 | ||
| #3 | ^.^ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | NO chance treatment | 2 | 0.0019 |
| 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^.^ | 359 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | magucas | 232 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | NO chance treatment | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| 34 | 0.08 | 1 min | ||
| 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +3.58 | 95 | 35 | ||
| #2 | NO chance treatment | +3.23 | 96 | 44 |
| #3 | ?=)!#"=¤)(="! | +2.06 | 93 | 60 |
| +1.10 | 94 | 60 | ||
| #5 | ^.^ | +0.11 | 79 | 59 |





