








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 734 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10892 | 54% |
| Smokes | 1367 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 4767 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3313 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,948,731 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 804 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?=)!#"=¤)(="! | 58% | 85 |
| #2 | Nilam | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | The king of Congo | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?=)!#"=¤)(="! | 58% | 85 |
| #2 | Nilam | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | The king of Congo | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?=)!#"=¤)(="! | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Nilam | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?=)!#"=¤)(="! | 255 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | The king of Congo | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nilam | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?=)!#"=¤)(="! | +2.31 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | ^.^ | +1.24 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Nilam | -0.81 | 61 | 32 |
| #4 | The king of Congo | -0.83 | 70 | 68 |





