








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8342 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5500 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4895 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4955 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,625 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pajama_man22 | 65% | 101 |
| #2 | Heni☁ | 65% | 132 |
| #3 | Cecil | 60% | 84 |
| #4 | zulda"v$M" | 57% | 134 |
| #5 | Nero | 56% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cecil | 60% | 84 |
| #4 | zulda"v$M" | 57% | 134 |
| #5 | Nero | 56% | 282 |
| #6 | egg | 49% | 107 |
| #7 | ⸸ShadowOfDeathZA⸸ | 47% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heni☁ | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Nero | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ⸸ShadowOfDeathZA⸸ | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | zulda"v$M" | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | egg | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nero | 941 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | Heni☁ | 705 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | zulda"v$M" | 516 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | egg | 383 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Pajama_man22 | 204 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scout | +4.31 | 63 | 76 |
| #2 | Heni☁ | +3.30 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | zulda"v$M" | +0.70 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | Nero | -0.29 | 60 | 67 |
| #5 | egg | -0.77 | 50 | 61 |





