








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2260 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1585 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 464 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,845,304 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1035 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NightKnight | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | WuJi | 63% | 56 |
| #3 | Уцзи | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | john pork | 54% | 186 |
| #5 | しんのすけ小新 | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john pork | 32 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | WuJi | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | NightKnight | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Redlum-X | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Уцзи | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john pork | 321 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | 武鹿 | 266 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | WuJi | 147 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Уцзи | 126 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Redlum-X | 118 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Уцзи | +6.99 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | WuJi | +4.75 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | 武鹿 | +3.39 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | john pork | +1.51 | 58 | 40 |
| #5 | passer-by | +1.35 | 40 | 32 |





