








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1612 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1228 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 680 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 870 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,594 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmontana | 225 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | dario-san | 213 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | GrapPate | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | rickybobthe3rd | 54 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | munajaska | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |





