








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 427 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




290 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1520 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1331 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1238 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,678 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sasu | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | mlli♰ | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | Pierre pore | 48% | 255 |
| #6 | Sauce | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | kuumaliima13 | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierre pore | 131 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | ᴄʙPete | 96 | 0.0302 |
| #3 | kuumaliima13 | 28 | 0.0282 |
| #4 | mlli♰ | 16 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | Sauce | 9 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierre pore | 302 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | ᴄʙPete | 195 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | mlli♰ | 171 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | kuumaliima13 | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sasu | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |





