








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1447 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2037 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,314 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄʙPete | 17 | 0.0472 |
| #2 | CONFIRMED AMIS | 13 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | ✪ LuukKkis'' | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | aku | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Pierre pore | 6 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snock | 478 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪ LuukKkis'' | 257 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | aku | 119 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | PomPom88 | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Turskander | 116 | 0.18 | 3 min |





