








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1066 | 40% |
| Smokes | 439 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 451 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,330 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siizi | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | fork, carry, steal, troll, 2011 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | retarded pro | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | JOHN WICK ALIAS mau | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | b site beige | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siizi | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | fork, carry, steal, troll, 2011 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | retarded pro | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | JOHN WICK ALIAS mau | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | b site beige | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHN WICK ALIAS mau | 14 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | fork, carry, steal, troll, 2011 | 7 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | retarded pro | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | siizi | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | b site beige | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOHN WICK ALIAS mau | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | retarded pro | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | fork, carry, steal, troll, 2011 | 58 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | siizi | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | b site beige | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fork, carry, steal, troll, 2011 | +7.14 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | retarded pro | +5.29 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | JOHN WICK ALIAS mau | +0.25 | 61 | 45 |
| #4 | siizi | -0.55 | 57 | 45 |
| #5 | Veeti | -2.63 | 33 | 51 |





