








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 995 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5668 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4729 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3313 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4609 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,668 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | lords | 54% | 69 |
| #11 | β‘ | 52% | 48 |
| #12 | captjacksparrow | 51% | 98 |
| #13 | βͺ πΏπ€π€ππ‘π | 51% | 73 |
| #14 | shorekeeper | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DhoklaSense BAITERlevel10 | 20 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Serniee | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Toofani | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | β‘ | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | lobalslove | 10 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Serniee | 380 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Toofani | 291 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ghost | 286 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #4 | DhoklaSense BAITERlevel10 | 214 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | βͺ πΏπ€π€ππ‘π | 194 | 0.14 | 4 min |





