








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1666 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2277 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2446 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2720 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,881,117 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bond | 47% | 173 |
| #5 | forget | 47% | 70 |
| #6 | PANDA | 46% | 71 |
| #7 | Ditz | 44% | 212 |
| #8 | JotaGDM | 43% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JotaGDM | 29 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | VnDsL | 22 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Ditz | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Bond | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | forget | 8 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JotaGDM | 969 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | Bond | 722 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #3 | VnDsL | 567 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ditz | 528 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | forget | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bond | +2.26 | 52 | 70 |
| #2 | VnDsL | +1.22 | 41 | 65 |
| #3 | Ditz | +0.76 | 35 | 57 |
| #4 | JotaGDM | +0.24 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | SEU_CU_360 | -0.27 | 35 | 40 |





