








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7087 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3742 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5722 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3588 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,280,189 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 20 | 46% | 50 |
| #6 | ZiE ×̷̷͜×̷ | 45% | 475 |
| #7 | PANDA | 41% | 158 |
| #8 | forget | 40% | 98 |
| #9 | JotaGDM | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZiE ×̷̷͜×̷ | 22 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Zartrez | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | PANDA | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | VnDsL | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | JotaGDM | 8 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zartrez | 703 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | ZiE ×̷̷͜×̷ | 540 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | VnDsL | 364 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | JotaGDM | 323 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | forget | 273 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bond | +2.13 | 51 | 64 |
| #2 | VnDsL | +1.72 | 39 | 60 |
| #3 | Zartrez | +1.00 | 33 | 51 |
| #4 | JotaGDM | +0.82 | 42 | 62 |
| #5 | 20 | +0.59 | 33 | 17 |





