










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4162 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4410 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2647 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,760,024 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL1ppaNt | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Ampere | 54% | 102 |
| #3 | myst1c | 53% | 470 |
| #4 | psych0pomp | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | <blank> | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ampere | 54% | 102 |
| #3 | myst1c | 53% | 470 |
| #4 | psych0pomp | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | <blank> | 44% | 52 |
| #6 | akz | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myst1c | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Ampere | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | <blank> | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | psych0pomp | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | FL1ppaNt | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myst1c | 1108 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #2 | Ampere | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | psych0pomp | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | FL1ppaNt | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | <blank> | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL1ppaNt | +3.92 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | myst1c | +1.90 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | crypt1c | +0.30 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | Ampere | +0.22 | 56 | 44 |
| #5 | psych0pomp | -0.46 | 60 | 50 |





