








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 939 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 404 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7077 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6251 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3858 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,042,406 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL1ppaNt | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | Ampere | 57% | 138 |
| #3 | crypt1c | 53% | 470 |
| #4 | psych0pomp | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | <blank> | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL1ppaNt | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | Ampere | 57% | 138 |
| #3 | crypt1c | 53% | 470 |
| #4 | psych0pomp | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | <blank> | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crypt1c | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Ampere | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | <blank> | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | FL1ppaNt | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crypt1c | 1184 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | Ampere | 108 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | psych0pomp | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | FL1ppaNt | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | <blank> | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL1ppaNt | +4.41 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | myst1c | +2.46 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | crypt1c | +0.39 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | psych0pomp | +0.20 | 54 | 44 |
| #5 | Ampere | -0.43 | 59 | 43 |





