








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 841 | 29% |
| Smokes | 800 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,057 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βΏRedbull | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | π π π π π | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | g_jhnny | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βΏRedbull | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | π π π π π | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | g_jhnny | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π π π π π | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | g_jhnny | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g_jhnny | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | π π π π π | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | βΏRedbull | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βΏRedbull | +2.74 | 35 | 48 |
| #2 | g_jhnny | +2.58 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Bob | +2.23 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | π π π π π | -2.45 | 70 | 59 |





