








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 475 | 22% |
| Smokes | 661 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 466 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 548 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,114 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cundt | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | XxNAKKI-KEITTOxX | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Äk$e | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | teukkanelkent | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Anza | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anza | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | teukkanelkent | 70 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | XxNAKKI-KEITTOxX | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Äk$e | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | MessiFanboy | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4ku | +2.94 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | Anza | +1.45 | 83 | 45 |
| #3 | Cundt | +1.43 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Äk$e | +1.26 | 76 | 39 |
| #5 | teukkanelkent | +0.27 | 68 | 49 |





