








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 748 | 29% |
| Smokes | 464 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 545 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 795 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,146 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4ku | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Anza | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | teukkanelkent | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | MessiFanboy | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Äk$e | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4ku | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Anza | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | teukkanelkent | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | MessiFanboy | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Äk$e | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anza | 11 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | teukkanelkent | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | MessiFanboy | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Äk$e | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | s4ku | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anza | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | teukkanelkent | 78 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Äk$e | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | s4ku | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | MessiFanboy | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anza | +2.42 | 84 | 45 |
| #2 | teukkanelkent | +2.23 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | s4ku | +1.33 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | MessiFanboy | +1.32 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | Äk$e | +0.18 | 67 | 41 |





