








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 26% |
| Smokes | 181 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,985 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | fatso | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | Hannjes | 33% | 18 |
| #12 | Preben | 31% | 29 |
| #13 | pCk | ASTALL | 31% | 13 |
| #14 | ★LUCKY★ | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Preben | 7 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Marcusbu | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Peachy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | TA SÅ LUKK OPP DØRA!!! | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | b0lar | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peachy | 166 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Preben | 148 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Marcusbu | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Moffe | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Desh | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0lar | +10.28 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | TA SÅ LUKK OPP DØRA!!! | +5.84 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Moffe | +5.21 | 62 | 70 |
| #4 | Peachy | +3.48 | 49 | 49 |
| #5 | Preben | +2.87 | 42 | 59 |





