










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 801 | 25% |
| Smokes | 854 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1127 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,304 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desh | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | Moffe | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | b0lar | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | bROHOLM | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Broholmen | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LUCKY★ | 9 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | b0lar | 6 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Espen | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | fatso | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Moffe | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0lar | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Moffe | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Desh | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ★LUCKY★ | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | pCk | ASTALL | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |





