








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1035 matches | ||
| Faceit | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




166 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
24250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 65,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22687 | 34% |
| Smokes | 14911 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10153 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 18091 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,115,533 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oiSlimShady | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | SyC0ne | 51% | 380 |
| #3 | Z3RO | 49% | 203 |
| #4 | Niff Stipples | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | MANIFESTO | 41% | 476 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oiSlimShady | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | SyC0ne | 51% | 380 |
| #3 | Z3RO | 49% | 203 |
| #4 | Niff Stipples | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | MANIFESTO | 41% | 476 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MANIFESTO | 121 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | SyC0ne | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Z3RO | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | oiSlimShady | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Niff Stipples | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyC0ne | 1114 | 0.14 | 34 min |
| #2 | MANIFESTO | 1004 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | oiSlimShady | 632 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #4 | Z3RO | 447 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Niff Stipples | 243 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oiSlimShady | +2.07 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Susan's a nonce | +1.52 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | SyC0ne | +1.42 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | Niff Stipples | -0.27 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | Z3RO | -0.99 | 72 | 54 |





