








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 942 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2399 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 987 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,058 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enyml | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | [+Joey+] | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | DeStroke | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 43% | 75 |
| #5 | COCK THE CURRY | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COCK THE CURRY | 19 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 19 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | DeStroke | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | enyml | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | [+Joey+] | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COCK THE CURRY | 391 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 358 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | DeStroke | 151 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | [+Joey+] | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Greyhound | 20 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COCK THE CURRY | +3.14 | 51 | 68 |
| #2 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | +1.93 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | DeStroke | +1.10 | 29 | 69 |
| #4 | NOiR | -1.73 | 42 | 48 |
| #5 | enyml | -2.24 | 11 | 30 |





