








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1290 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3450 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3408 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,104,302 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 34% | 205 |
| #2 | enyml | 34% | 104 |
| #3 | COCK THE CURRY | 33% | 90 |
| #4 | Greyhound | 33% | 97 |
| #5 | DeStroke | 29% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 34% | 205 |
| #2 | enyml | 34% | 104 |
| #3 | COCK THE CURRY | 33% | 90 |
| #4 | Greyhound | 33% | 97 |
| #5 | DeStroke | 29% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 41 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | COCK THE CURRY | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Greyhound | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | DeStroke | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | enyml | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | 992 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | COCK THE CURRY | 295 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | DeStroke | 262 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Greyhound | 244 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | enyml | 111 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ ᴍʀ_ᴀᴡᴇsᴏᴍᴇ | +3.65 | 62 | 67 |
| #2 | DeStroke | +3.41 | 38 | 69 |
| #3 | COCK THE CURRY | +2.84 | 45 | 57 |
| #4 | Greyhound | -2.18 | 27 | 50 |
| #5 | enyml | -2.90 | 14 | 40 |





