








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3275 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2979 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1780 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1120 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,518 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Nugget31 | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | CaptainThiccccc | 43% | 155 |
| #3 | themidgetyoda | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | nep nep | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | xenntea | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaptainThiccccc | 548 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Salty | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | themidgetyoda | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | xenntea | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr Nugget31 | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |





