








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 272 | 25% |
| Smokes | 164 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 372 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 287 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,221 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kalterk | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | Arles | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | PiriJori | 48% | 50 |
| #12 | BOT ♿ | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | prkl | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M'Baku Korhonen | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | PiriJori | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | steissimuhis | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | L1me | 2 | 0.0220 |
| #5 | Jurgen_Kukoin | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiriJori | 120 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jurgen_Kukoin | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | M'Baku Korhonen | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | KettuV | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | prkl | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KettuV | +3.86 | 87 | 44 |
| #2 | Kalterk | +2.77 | 60 | 45 |
| #3 | M'Baku Korhonen | +2.09 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | steissimuhis | +1.68 | 64 | 46 |
| #5 | L1me | +1.55 | 30 | 85 |





