








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5167 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4620 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4093 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3540 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,063,943 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KettuV | 58% | 76 |
| #2 | Arles | 53% | 99 |
| #3 | Enemy Greeni | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | orhail | 49% | 83 |
| #5 | prkl | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123132321 | 60 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | jamal | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | steissimuhis | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | BOT ♿ | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | PiriJori | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123132321 | 494 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | jamal | 254 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | BOT ♿ | 254 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | PiriJori | 198 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | orhail | 188 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KettuV | +2.98 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | 123132321 | +1.44 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | prkl | +1.32 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | ❭ KINKKU | +1.27 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | steissimuhis | +0.89 | 81 | 56 |





