








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 245 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3402 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4024 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3218 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3793 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,678 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boonks | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Tohtori | 63% | 146 |
| #3 | obk | 61% | 89 |
| #4 | paakari | 60% | 113 |
| #5 | Saku-Setä | 59% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Skeletor00 | 53% | 34 |
| #8 | jape709 | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | The Doctor | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | vAERMA | 46% | 54 |
| #11 | Wasted Penguin | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saku-Setä | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Tohtori | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | vAERMA | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | The Doctor | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Skeletor00 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saku-Setä | 389 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tohtori | 319 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | obk | 170 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Boonks | 150 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | vAERMA | 84 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAERMA | +4.67 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | obk | +1.54 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | Boonks | +0.94 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | paakari | +0.65 | 86 | 51 |
| #5 | Tohtori | +0.62 | 77 | 67 |





