








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2685 | 54% |
| Smokes | 951 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 512 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,652 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reazy | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | ♿Grinchiiii♿ | 50% | 133 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Hiyuru1337™ | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | ___MoZ | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Forti[G] | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reazy | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | ♿Grinchiiii♿ | 50% | 133 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Hiyuru1337™ | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | ___MoZ | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Forti[G] | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Grinchiiii♿ | 30 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | reazy | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Hiyuru1337™ | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ___MoZ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Grinchiiii♿ | 206 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | reazy | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Forti[G] | 81 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Hiyuru1337™ | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ___MoZ | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Grinchiiii♿ | +3.79 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | reazy | +2.96 | 66 | 37 |
| #3 | ___MoZ | +1.02 | 67 | 48 |
| #4 | ☢ lil jeans ☢ | -0.52 | 56 | 51 |
| #5 | Forti[G] | -1.18 | 14 | 50 |





